Blogging my life, my wins, fails, adventures, happy times, sad times, anything I cba to talk to people about. Or when I just write something and I want to post it... feel free to judge me it's what I'm here for ;)
Stepping back from your Twitter is one thing, deleting the entire thing is another.
A lot, and I mean a LOT of people have given you so much love and support and by doing this you're letting the hate win. In what universe is doing this going to make anything better? It's just going to break a lot of peoples' hearts. Including mine.
So thanks, @_gone_ for the past 10 months or so. Thanks a lot.
You may laugh, but seriously, EVERY COUPLE I EVER LOVE TURNS OUT TO BE A DISASTER! ¬-¬
List of relationships I have invested my heart into:
1. John James and Josie
Level of obsession: EXTREME.
Story: The typical boy meets girl, they're reluctant to admit their feelings but eventually have an awful lot of snuggle time, with the added twist of a bazillion cameras watching them...
VERDICT: They stayed together 8 months then called it quits and are now on opposite sides of the world. Great.
2. Zac and Ashley
Level of obsession: Moderate
Story: Girl meets boy when she's 16 and he's 12 with goofy teeth, they become best friends and soon he grows into the handsome young thing that Zefron is today, she's h'obviously head over heels for him and him her yet nothing has ever happened.
VERDICT: Zac dated her close friend Vanessa Hudgens and Ashley now has a (rather large and scary) boyfriend. Ashley would never betray Vanessa by dating Zac anyway. Joy.
3. Ali and Brian
Level of obsession: High
Story: Actress Ali Bastian is paired with cheesy American dancer Brian Fortuna in British entertainment show 'Strictly Come Dancing'. They flirt from early on, chemistry is evident and they suffer from heavy teasing and speculation whilst keeping their relationship under wraps, until the semi-final when they ended a dance with a 'real kiss', much to Brucey's delight. They then went on to star together in West End show 'Burn the Floor'.
VERDICT: They actually made it longer than JJJ, almost a year, then time apart enforced the realisation that they didn't actually like each other that much and had a friendly, mature-ish break up. Although many people accused Brian of just using her for the fame and money. Fabulous.
4. The Doctor and Amy Pond
Level of obsession: Low-ish, I guess
SHE'S FRIGGIN' MARRIED TO A DORK AND HE'S A BLIDDY TIME TRAVELLER. NEED I SAY ANY MORE?
5. Roxy and Christian (Eastenders)
Level of obsession: Moderate
Story: Very cute best friends, her being very possibly in love with him. They were going to have a baby together but that didn't work out...
VERDICT: The fact that Christian is uber gay caused a few complications... and Roxy is with Michael Moon now, though he is a bit of a creepy one. Yay.
6. CHANNY. aka Sonny and Chad
Level of obsession: Was high, now moderate
Story: Wisconsin girl Sonny Munroe gets to live her dream of being on her favourite comedy show 'So Random!' and Chad Dylan Cooper is the main character of their rival show, tween drama 'Mackenzie Falls'. They seemingly hate each other throughout Season 1 although deeper feelings are frequently hinted at, then in Season 2 they date and eventually kiss *enter gasps here* (which is a real big thing considering it's Disney Channel)
VERDICT: Uhm, They break up. I haven't seen the Season finale but from what I heard I don't think they get back together. And Sonny actress Demi Lovato has now left the show, so I doubt the loose ends will be tied, Channy is forgotten... Woohoo.
I would now yap on and on about Penny Valentine and Malick in Holby City, but as friends of mine are frequently reminded- this is the last we saw of Penny. D:
It still hurts to look at this picture.
So this is why I think I'm cursed. Either that or I'm just very, VERY bad at choosing relationships to obsess over. I only do it to stop myself from obsessing over my own though. That subject would need a whole new blog...
It sucks when you lose a person, of course it does, especially when it's so sudden and unexpected, the brain doesn't have time to process the news properly before the heart is broken and you're hit with this intense sadness and compulsive need to know the reasons why. Why them? Why you? But the reason is life. It happens, it ends. There's nothing you can do to change that.
It doesn't even have to be a person you know well... it can still break you. I cried for two hours after Penny Valentine was crushed by a train on Holby City. Sat in front of my TV with my mouth wide open for at least 20 minutes after the credits rolled, totally in shock.
I found in the past few weeks that it really helps to find other people who are in your situation, talk to them, follow them on Tumblr ;), it really helps to know that there are people out there who feel exactly the same as you do, and are looking for the same answers, waiting for the same crappy emotions to go away.
Oh, Emma Catherwood, why oh why did you have to leave Holby? Now you're gone, Amy Pond Emma from Glee is the new prettiest ginger on TV...
Break-ups are never easy. They hurt. They can stay with you for a long time... I know that- I've dealt with them before. There's only so much you know about the world when you're 16 years old, I know that there are things out there that I don't yet understand... but I've been in love once before, I've been hurt, I've lost somebody close to me. It's hard to stay strong, to hold yourself together and move on, but I accepted that it's just life- it happens, I've accepted that before you can find your prince, you have to kiss a few frogs, and deal with the fall out...
...but I never thought that I'd have to deal with the wrath of a break-up of two people who I have only met once... and never did I think it would affect me as much as it has.
It's 10 past midnight on a Sunday night and I should be fast asleep right now ready for the week ahead of me, yet I am sitting wide awake, so overwhelmed by emotion that I am feeling the need to express it by writing an entire blog! Did I feel like this when Zanessa broke up? Heck no! Brad and Jen? Narp. Peter and Katie? Definitely not... So why JJJ? Why is it that so many of us are feeling this way? There must be something that was there that's worth getting upset about losing...
Does the fact that JJJ are apart affect my daily life in any way? No. I still get up, eat breakfast, go out with my friends, go to school, watch TV, play on the computer, just like I always would...
So if JJJ's split doesn't make a difference to my life, why is hurting me so much? Maybe it's not the present or the future that's hurting me, it's just remembering the past. Remembering last summer, the obsession, the love, the laughter, the tears, the feeling of victory when Josie Gibson was crowned the Winner of BB11 and she escaped the UBB house to run directly into the arms of Mr Parton, the moment we could turn round to the haters and the doubters and the people who didn't believe us and say 'Look, we were right.' The night when John James was evicted, I will never forget theirishgirl, the founder of the JJJAT's words-
'We've already won guys... we've already won'
And from that moment I knew that it was so much more than a game show... I realised that it was far bigger than just 2 people falling in love... So maybe that's why I'm in a fragile state of denial... because I simply can't let go of the past, the journey that together we travelled... I simply can't believe that it may be over. Is it really?
"I don't believe you when you say 'don't come around here no more'"
