'Moving on is simple, it’s what you leave behind that makes it so difficult.'

        Break-ups are never easy. They hurt. They can stay with you for a long time... I know that- I've dealt with them before. There's only so much you know about the world when you're 16 years old, I know that there are things out there that I don't yet understand... but I've been in love once before, I've been hurt, I've lost somebody close to me. It's hard to stay strong, to hold yourself together and move on, but I accepted that it's just life- it happens, I've accepted that before you can find your prince, you have to kiss a few frogs, and deal with the fall out...

...but I never thought that I'd have to deal with the wrath of a break-up of two people who I have only met once... and never did I think it would affect me as much as it has.


It's 10 past midnight on a Sunday night and I should be fast asleep right now ready for the week ahead of me, yet I am sitting wide awake, so overwhelmed by emotion that I am feeling the need to express it by writing an entire blog! Did I feel like this when Zanessa broke up? Heck no! Brad and Jen? Narp. Peter and Katie? Definitely not... So why JJJ? Why is it that so many of us are feeling this way? There must be something that was there that's worth getting upset about losing...

Does the fact that JJJ are apart affect my daily life in any way? No. I still get up, eat breakfast, go out with my friends, go to school, watch TV, play on the computer, just like I always would... 


So if JJJ's split doesn't make a difference to my life, why is hurting me so much? Maybe it's not the present or the future that's hurting me, it's just remembering the past. Remembering last summer, the obsession, the love, the laughter, the tears, the feeling of victory when Josie Gibson was crowned the Winner of BB11 and she escaped the UBB house to run directly into the arms of Mr Parton, the moment we could turn round to the haters and the doubters and the people who didn't believe us and say 'Look, we were right.' The night when John James was evicted, I will never forget theirishgirl, the founder of the JJJAT's words- 

'We've already won guys... we've already won'

 And from that moment I knew that it was so much more than a game show... I realised that it was far bigger than just 2 people falling in love... 
So maybe that's why I'm in a fragile state of denial... because I simply can't let go of the past, the journey that together we travelled... I simply can't believe that it may be over. Is it really?

"I don't believe you when you say 'don't come around here no more'"